"Let's me program up to a tenth of a second how much air to put in it," said Telford, while inflating a pair of balloons in the show barn at Thanksgiving Point.
These balloons shaped his entire life. It started as a way to put himself through college, but quickly inflated into something much bigger.
"By the time I got my degree, I loved it too much to stop," said Telford.
Now, it's a full-blown career — one that's raised more than a few eyebrows.
But it's more than a job, it's a passion. Telford doesn't just create balloon animals, he's a balloon sculptor, a modern-day Michelangelo, whose medium just happens to be rubber.
"I started it on Monday," he said, fueled by caffeine, trail mix and the occasional ibuprofen.
"I've been working 15-hour days," said Telford.
All to create a Godzilla-sized wiener dog. "It's too tall, and it wouldn't support itself," he said. "It was always the intention to have it lying down. I thought the idea of doing your most basic balloon animal, that uses one balloon, out of thousands and thousands of balloons, would just be ironic."
It's been a race against the clock, that's because Telford has set his sights high.
"Largest balloon sculpture by an individual," said Telford.
He's hoping to make the "Guinness Book of World Records."
He's hoping to create the biggest balloon animal in the history of human civilization, because Telford's time has run out.
Michael Empric, an official adjudicator with Guinness, is just off the plane from New York City. He's serving as judge, jury and potentially executioner.
"I'm specifically looking to make sure that there's no internal support structure," said Empric.
He's brought his own crew of surveyors for precise measurements, and the video evidence is crucial. Every second has been documented to make sure Telford hasn't had any help.
Although he claims otherwise, it's clear that Telford's nerves are stretched a little thin.
Finally, the moment of truth:
"Today, Jeremy, I can announce that your sculpture is … 65 feet by 32 feet, which is a new Guinness World's Record title," announced Empric.
"It feels pretty good, honestly," said Telford. "It feels better than the alternative, I will give you that right there. The alternative is me in a corner, crying."
Telford says the official plaque he received may end up hanging on the ceiling right over his bed, so he can look at it every morning before he wakes up. As for the balloon sculpture, its time is up. Telford plans to take a weed whacker to it.